What's the best way for a Christian woman to help her husband get spiritually engaged? It seems that he's a true introvert and not close to many of the brothers, though he's been a disciple for years! He also doesn't lead our family spiritually, and I often find myself having to ask him if he'd like to pray with me or have our quiet times together. As a "helper," sometimes I wonder if I'm trying to lead him, rather than help him. What's my biblical role here?
I am certainly sorry for the frustration you must feel. And, I'm glad to see you are focusing on what positive things you can do. That said, I don't know that you will like everything I have to say.
1. Often when a man is introverted in some life role, such as husband, father, or disciple, it is because he doesn't believe he is capable of succeeding in that role. Do your actions and words debunk or reinforce that belief?
2. Ultimately you have to let God change your husband. Trust me, God is more capable than any of us would be. And his hands aren't tied because you haven't yet done or said the perfect thing. I have watched other couples in similar circumstances. The husband was passive, so the wife felt she had no choice but to take the lead. This did not inspire the husband to step up. Instead, it caused him to introvert even more.
3. Ask yourself, "Is my goal for my husband to become the kind of man God wants, or the kind of man I want?" If you can separate those two desires, you may find it easier to wait patiently on God and your husband.
4. While you are waiting patiently, you might want to consider what God is currently doing to change you. He does not waste a circumstance. While God is working on your husband he is also working on you. If you want to know where he is working on you, just look for the greatest areas of frustration or pain in your life. C.S. Lewis once said, "God whispers to us in our pleasure, but he shouts to us in our pain." Is this where God is shouting to you right now?
5. Do not lose hope. It may already have been years, and it may be many years more. But look how long the giants of faith in the Bible had to wait for what was promised. God will provide you with the strength to be the kind of helper to your husband that he wants you to be. (Not necessarily the kind of helper you want to be.) If your burden becomes too heavy, it may be because you are lifting loads God doesn't want you to carry.
I hope this helps.
IBTM Research Team