As a disciple and a physician, I have wrestled for many years with the advice to give battered women about staying in their marriage or leaving to protect themselves and/or their children. I realize that each case is different, but given passages like Matthew 5:38-42 and Luke 6:27-31 that advise to "turn the other cheek," and passages like Ephesians 5 teaching wives to be submissive, and knowing that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), what options does a woman have that will be pleasing to God? I would appreciate any light you could shed on this matter for me; I have wrestled with it for a long time in study and in prayer. -- Dana Simpson (Washington DC)

In 1 Corinthians 7:13, the unbeliever "consents" to live with the Christian woman. Many have construed this to mean, He is willing to live with her as a believer. If this is right, then a husband bent on making life hell for his believing wife is actually "unwilling" or not "consenting" to remain with her. At the same time, we must acknowledge that some wives have suffered terribly at the hands of their husbands, eventually to win them over. So part of me is loath to advise a woman to leave her husband, yet in many cases I fear for her (or her children's) safety.

Separation is always an option. The ideal outcome, of course, is to follow Peter's counsel in 1 Peter 3, to win him over through patience, perseverance, and a Christian character. Separation or divorce can become the easy way out. Yet in some cases it is necessary, and would appear to have the blessing of God. 

Ultimately, each believer will have to make her/his own decision.

This article is copyrighted and is for private use and study only. © 2004. Reprints or public distribution is prohibited without the express consent of Douglas Jacoby.