Thoughts on Skye Jethani's inspiring book With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2011).
In the past—in my experience, anyway—we often spoke of our personal relationship with God – but it didn’t usually feel personal. Rather, it was measured in minutes of prayer, readings of the entire Bible, numbers brought to evangelistic meetings, and so on. Maybe that’s why Skye Jethani’s book With strikes so many chords with us.
The author identifies four unhealthy and unbiblical postures towards God (over, under, from, for), in contrast to one healthy relational posture (with). In my case, Jethani's explanations were all on target. (That is, I plead guilty on all [four] charges.) Take a look at the thoughts and excerpts below, and perhaps you too will want to invest in a copy of With.
As Jethani explains, "Our hearts seek God and the goodness, beauty, justice, and peace we've been told he provides, but he often remains hidden behind the shadow cast by an evil world. My concern is that we are inoculating an entire generation to the Christian faith. Many come with a holy desire to know God, to experience his presence in their lives, to be cared for like sheep entrusted to a meek and gentle shepherd. But this is not what they see or experience” (2-3).
Life over God—marked by fool-proof formulas and methods, guaranteeing desirable outcomes. It effectively cuts out middleman (God). We are in charge. Self-help, staying in control, gauging success by numbers, manipulating God (not necessarily knowing him).
Life under God—emphasizing simple cause and effect. We follow the rules, participate in the rituals, and the Lord owes us. Like Life over God, this view can be quite mechanical. When (especially) the younger generation realizes reality isn't that simple, and life is often marked by disappointment, their faith is destroyed, and they leave the church.
Life from God—focuses on the blessings more than on God. Prosperity theology is enormously popular in the evangelical world. This posture is essentially that of the prodigal son (Luke 15).
Life for God—aims to accomplish great things for God. As Jethani notes, “What I find most among my peers in Christian ministry is a highly activist form of faith” (9).
- “Some great goal—understood to be initiated by God and carried forward by us—defines everything and everyone. An individual is either on the mission, the object of the mission, an obstacle to the mission, and aid to the mission, or a fat Christian who should be on the mission” (84).
- “… It puts God’s mission ahead of God himself. Paul, the most celebrated missionary, did not make this mistake “(87).
- “The Life for God posture is highly celebrated and those capable of accomplishing the most receive great accolades and admiration” (9).
- “… Many of the people accomplishing the most for God seemed to reflect his character the least. Rather than being marked by peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and love, many of them were anxious, impatient, rude, aggressive, and sometimes even spiteful… Similarly, there is an eerie correlation between their meanness and how absolutely certain a person is about their beliefs… Those who pride themselves [or their church fellowship] on their reverent submission to God’s truth are strangely reluctant to submit to anyone else” (10-11).
- “Life for God takes our fear of insignificance and throws gasoline on it. The resulting fire may be presented to the world as godly ambition, a holy desire to see God’s mission advance—the kind of drive evident in the apostle Paul’s life. But when these flames are fueled by fear, they reveal none of the peace, joy, or love displayed by Paul. The relentless drive to prove our worth can quickly become destructive” (88).
- “…Before long the mission controls almost everything: time, relationships, health, spiritual depth, ethics, and convictions. In advanced stages, [this] means doing whatever it takes to solve the problem. In its worst iteration, the end always justifies the means. The family goes; health is sacrificed; integrity is jeopardized; God-connection is limited” (89). Like the older son (Luke 15), we trudge on.
- “When church leaders function from this understanding of the Christian life, they invariably transfer their burden and fears to those in the pews. If a pastor’s sense of worth is linked to the impact of his or her ministry, guess what believers under that pastor’s care are told is most important?... people who believe their value is linked to their accomplishments” (91).
About these four unhealthy postures—“[People] are offered a substitute form of Christianity, one that cannot break through the shadows and that never really satisfies the deepest longing of their souls” (3). All these postures, like human religion in general, are based on fear and control.
Life with God—a true relationship.
- We enter into God’s eternal love—that which has always existed among Father, Son, and Spirit. Divine love overflows into our lives.
- We were created for this (Eden), and this is our ultimate goal (the New Jerusalem).
- “The primary purpose of our worship gatherings, preaching, and programs should be to present a ravishing vision of Jesus Christ. When people come to see who he is and what God is like, treasuring him becomes the natural outcome. But in many places the vision of Christ remains hidden behind shadows while lesser glories—often some variation on the culture’s values or the church’s mission—are given the spotlight. And then we scratch our heads in bewilderment when people leave the church disappointed and unsatisfied or fail to engage. ‘My congregation needs a swift kick in the tail to share their faith,’ one pastor told me. What his people probably need is a clear vision of who Christ really is—a vision I’m guessing the pastor needs as well” (106).
The second part of the book fleshes out what Life with God looks like, with chapters on God, Faith, Hope, and Love.
Conclusion
“[Jesus] did not die merely to inaugurate a mission (Life for God) or to give us a second chance at life (Life from God). He did not endure the horrors of the cross just to demonstrate a principle of life for others to emulate (Life over God) or to appease divine wrath (Life under God). While each of these may be rooted in truth and affirmed by Scripture, it is only when we grasp God’s unyielding desire to be with us that we begin to see the ultimate purpose of the cross. It is more than a vehicle to rescue us from death; it transports us into the arms of Life. The cross is how we acquire our treasure. It is how we find unity with God” (110).
